July 25, 2009
Crazy Ibiza fashion. Crazy Ibiza.
It’s been hard to get back to typing; I think I’m suffering from a mix of summer ennui, blogger's block, and pre-vacation anxiety. I just can't handle life. I'm not walking, I'm dragging myself. Everything tires me out. Nothing appeals to me. Does that sound familiar? Hmm, July is a tough month, but it's almost over.
That’s why we literally ran when some friends offered us shelter in Ibiza, a minimal suitcase, a credit card, and off we went. I arrived there, white as snow, in the paradise of toned bodies and all-over tans. I wonder one thing: do overweight people simply not get tickets to Ibiza, or how does that work? Does the airport arch, for flights to Ibiza, not only detect metals but also measure your body mass index, and based on that, you either fly or you don't?
T-shirt by La Condesa...yes, I'm still fraying t-shirts, no one can stop me
If you're going there these days, I recommend checking out the coolest beach bar I've ever known: El Blue Marlin (Cala Jondal). The music is incredible, the beach is a delight, the food and drinks are good, and the atmosphere, though very pose-y, makes for a good time if you put in a little effort. However, there are a few things to keep in mind:
1.- RESERVATIONS: If you want to enjoy the wonderful Balinese beds, hammocks, and other amenities, book 3-4 days in advance and call the day before to confirm. Otherwise, once there, you won't get anything, not even with bribes to the staff.
Tel: +34 . 97.10.14.117
Tel: +34 . 97.10.14.117
2.- DRESS CODE: Plan your outfit as if you're going to a club where you can swim. It's incredible how people dress. There's a walkway connecting the beach bar to the water, and people treat it as if it really were a runway. They arrive very seriously and professionally, with super elaborate looks designed to be analyzed and pass inspection.
White triumphs, of course, we're in Ibiza
I’ve always liked how this color, let’s call it coral, looks, especially if you have a tan.
Although most opt for little dresses, denim shorts (which sometimes have the length of underwear) are also a hit.
You wouldn't believe the level of sophistication; there were two girls (two, not just one!) wearing this beautiful Missoni mini-dress, which Carrie Bradshaw wore in the Sex and the City movie, as a beach dress. What some treasure in their closets, others grab to go to the beach.
3.- SWIMWEAR: If clothes need to be well-thought-out, your bikini better be designed by NASA. There are two options: either go for minimal expression and thus nudity, or go for maximum expression and thus trikinis and mega accessories. From half-naked women (without a single tan line – how do they do it? Did they arrive in May?) to others with studded maxi-belts over their bikinis that made me wonder if they could also be used for a barbecue after so many hours in the sun.
5.- SHOES: Absolute confusion reigns here. How else can you explain a single photo showing bare feet, feet with flip-flops, feet with wedges, feet with high heels, and feet with socks and closed shoes...? I insist we are talking about a beach bar. People will never cease to amaze me with what they are willing to do to be "fashionable."
6.- SUNSCREEN: For the love of everything, slather on liters of sun protection. Leave the "crispy skin" look for others. Avoid premature skin aging, which wreaks havoc in these areas and is visible on older faces.
7.- GOOD COMPANY: The most important thing. If this doesn't fail, you can immediately erase everything above because it won't matter if you're wearing an outdated hat, mismatched bikini pieces, any old shirt, or grandpa's flip-flops, you'll be the happiest people there because all that will matter is dancing with friends and making sure the jugs of white sangria keep coming. Molly and Rocío, you are the most beautiful beings on the planet and we love you with all our hearts. Thank you, guys.
Thousands of kisses,
The Ibizan Countess, no joke, my grandfather used to say that Ibiza castle belonged to his ancestors. You'd laugh if I got stubborn about claiming it.
The Ibizan Countess, no joke, my grandfather used to say that Ibiza castle belonged to his ancestors. You'd laugh if I got stubborn about claiming it.